I can't
by Born to love protect and die
Summary: When the man she had been in a relationship with for over two years finally pops the question, the answer isn't what he was expecting."I can't" is a short story that came to me after seeing the season finaly of scorpion. I seriously ship that show.
1. 1, I'm coming home

"I can't" I finally managed to whisper. He looked shocked. As did everyone else in the room. They, just as the man sitting on knee in front of me -holding a light blue box- only expected one possible outcome to that question. And it weren't the words I just muttered. I needed to explain myself. Tell him that if it where any different, I would have said yes.

"Eight years ago, I married the love of my live. He went MIA seven years ago." I started whispering my reason for breaking his heart "When I met you three years ago, I knew I was ready to move one. Last year you told me you wanted to spend your live with me, so I looked into the legal side, since I still was technically married to him." He slowly got up from his kneeling position. His face was littered with question marks. I slightly raised my ring-less hands and slowly walked backwards from him. "I could end my marriage by declaring my husband dead, enough time had gone by, so legally I could do it. But I just...I couldn't bring it over my heart to declare my husband dead. I couldn't and no matter how much I want to say yes to you right know, I can't marry you." The last part was barley a whisper as I turned around and got out of the door.

I made a bee-line for my car, tiers running over my face. I quickly started the ignition and hit the gas pedal and drove away. Away from this perfect house, perfect family, perfect life.

The day started like any other holyday we had the last two years. We got up, had a light breakfast, and got in my best clothes for an extensive brunch with his family. His family where sweethearts in their own way. Like every family they had flaws, but at the end of the day they were happy. And I loved them. They asked about my family once and told them my mother died serving, my father never got over it and I a best friend as a sister who lived on the other side of the country.

Suddenly after brunch ended, the man I came to love over the past years took my hand and went to sit in front of me holding a tiffany blue box, asking the question I had been dreading for the last year. I wanted to. I saw a future for the two of us. And I tried to tell over and over again. I don't remember the times I backed out of it. Afraid he'll run and I would be alone all over again.

I parked in front of my apartment and quickly grabbed a few pairs of underwear, a few pants and shirts and left for a three day drive down to Georgia. I was only a half an hour on the road when my phone started ringing. I could have turned it off, it would have been easier to ignore his calls. But never turned my phone off or left without it by my side. Something that the man that was trying to reach me knew. He never knew why though. He didn't knew that somewhere in my mind I still hoped for a call telling me they had found my husband. Alive, dead, injured, just something to give me the closure I so desperately wanted.

After a nine hour drive I stopped by a motel along the I-90 to sleep for a few hours. I awoke after six hours of sleeping and went back on the route. I stopped at a gas station for food and snacks, but I kept driving. I stopped for another nap not too far from Nebraska. The man I left in Montana had called a few times today. I lied down on the bed and listened to the voicemails he left.

 _17h48; Rose?Rose! I don't get it, you say you're already married, how couldn't you tell me this. We've been together for over two years, how couldn't you tell me you where already married! How could you do this to me. You can't ign-BEEP_

 _19h12; Rose? Please call me back. I need to know my you didn't tell me. I'm at your apartment, but you're not here. Please just come back home. I worry._

 _22h36; Rossseee... My bwauhtifulll little rossseee. My little flower. Whyyyyy... why djid you lie to me. Was I just a game? just a distaction? Rose, my little flower, come back to me, I need you._

 _11h27; Hey, It's me again. The guy that proposed to you yesterday. I don't know where you are, but I know that I still love you. I which you told me, but sure you had some damn good reason not to. The more I think about it, the cleared it becomes. The little things you know. I never met your old friends. I didn't question it, since I figured you would talk about it when you where ready. I always thought you-BEEP_

 _11h28;Hey they voice mail broke off. Like I was saying. I always thought you flinched when the military was on the news because of you mother. I wish I knew it was because of your husband. I remember asking myself why you kept looking if it only hurt you. I think I understand know. My parents did help me com to the conclusion, but I unders-BEEP_

 _15h59Hey, If you want time, i'll give time I promise, but please just tell me you alright out there where ever you are. Take the time you need. I'll be waiting. I love you Rose._

The next day I drove the rest of the way and stopped at a house I used to know all too well. I rung the doorbell and a few minutes later the door was opened by an angel. After staring at each other for a few minutes she came out of the house and engulfed me in her typical bear hug.

"Oh Rose I missed you so much." she gushed. "Come on in, the man are gone for thee months and we're all here. Inside I was engulfed by hugs by the woman I had once had so much in comment with.

"He asked me." I whispered. "He asked me and I couldn't say yes, because I can't declare him dead." I whispered. I felt one pair of arms would then self even tighter around me I knew whose they were. She knew exactly what I was talking about, she would need to do the same thing eventually.

They let me farter into the house and I sat down in a chair and grabbed the photo that was standing on the little table next to me. It was taken right before their first deployment. All the guys in there new uniforms holding there wife's or girlfriends in front of them. From left to right you had. Christian with his wife Lissa, than you had Mason with Jill. She was a widow now, just like me if I would sign the paperwork. Then you had Eddie with Mia and lastly My husband with me in front of him. I remember the day perfectly. It was a day of promises that weren't kept. I have one of those pictures myself. Somewhere in a box buried deep under an American flag and a medal. I didn't care for them. They didn't make up for the loss.

I grabbed my phone and send a text to the guy still in Montana.

 _Hey Adrian, I love you and no it was never a game. But I need a few days in order to clear my head. I'll be coming back. Please just give me some time I'm understand if you suddenly feel like you don't know me. I disserve all your anger .Just... I love you. Rose Belikova._


	2. 2, Catching up

**Chapter 2**

I stayed the entire day on the sofa, It had been months since I'd been home. We caught up on each other's lives, Jill had a new boyfriend, again. Ever since she got over Masons dead a few years ago, she had hopping boyfriends. None of them made it longer than six months, none of them ever slept in her bed. Valerie, Lissa's oldest. Had won the spelling bee, again. She was going to be a smart girl. Lukas, her second child, was in this weird face, where he ate, or tried to eat everything. The stories she told me made my abs hurting from laughter. Since I was here she told us it was just as good as time of any to make an announcement. She and Christian where expecting there third child. I could see her glowing of happiness. She always wanted a big family.

Mia was pregnant with her first child. It was going to be a boy. To me it looked like she was about ready to pop. She and Eddie had finished the nursery, while he was on leave. By the time he came back, the baby would be born. She didn't like the fact that he wouldn't be there when she gave birth, but honestly? I think he was relieved. He loved her to the core and she him, but she could be a tad dramatic at times. I had a feeling that if he was here when she gave birth, she would divorce him while giving birth.

Lissa comforted her, Christian wasn't home either when Valerie was born. The girls and me where with her, and we would be there for Mia. We stick together, we always have. When the guys told us in senior year of high school they wanted to join the military together, we weren't shocked. I remember the day perfectly.

 _Nine years ago._

 _Lissa and I sat outside on a bench. We've been friends forever. My father came from a wealthy family, her parents too. Me met at a social event where we were the only kids our age. In the future, we would only go to these events if the other where there. Lissa was complaining that her brother was being an asshole, since he was Lissa's and Jill's guardian, when Mia and Jill cam up to us._

 _"What's up?" I asked._

 _"I don't know, Eddie ringed my house and told me to here, Mason did the same with Jill." Mia explained. Lissa and I looked to each other, we knew what to expect. Ten minutes later, the boys showed up. Dimitri kissed me, as did the others with their respective girlfriends. Something was of, he was slightly nervous._

 _"So, euh we got something to tell you all." Eddie started._

 _"Well, we've been thinking about this for a few weeks and we made a decision." Mason followed._

 _"You two weeks ago they did those career speeches? Well we decided we wanted to enlist. Together." Christian concluded._

 _I wasn't surprised. I noticed that Dimitri was paying attention when the navy representative was talking. I saw him reading a few pamphlets over the last few days. I shared, my thoughts with Lissa a few days back, she said she had found a_ enlist requirement-sheet _in his backpack when she was looking for a pen I didn't thought of Christian as patriotic, so when Mia came to us, we knew what was happening. Mia had come to us two days ago, crying that she tough Eddie was thinking of enlisting. Then we spoke to Jill. She confirmed Mason was doing the same. We talked about it, just the girls. If they were going to go through with it, they would tell us and we would have there and each other's backs. We had a slumber party and talked a lot that night, what it might mean for us and our relationship. I knew perfectly well what it meant. I knew I only had one condition. Now they stood there watching our reaction._

 _"We know." Lissa, Mia, Jill and me said at the same time. That's when they started babbling in surprise, except for Dimitri, he knew I had a preen instinct for stuff like this, knowing what he wanted, before he even knew himself. I took Dimitri apart, just like the other couples._

 _"Roza, I know your mother wa-" He started, but I held my finger up to stop him._

 _"I only have one condition." I surprised him._

 _I took a deep breath before I spoke: "Marry me first."_

We eventually got married the week after we graduated. I had a badass rock star wedding, I always wanted one of those. I threw my pink flowers in Lissa's hands. She and Christian got married when they finished their training. Jill was before her though.

Jill and Mason got married in Vegas. Mason got the weekend off of their training to attend the wedding of his cousin and took Jill with him. Jill had just gotten eighteen a few days before. His cousin and his bride apparently met at a Elvis Presley event and decided they wanted to get married by one. The only place to do that was still Vegas. It was a fiasco wedding. They got so drunk during the wedding, where apparently no one cared that they weren't 21 yet, that they snuck out and got hitched themselves. Not by Elvis, thank god. Mason did get into some trouble with his sergeant for getting drunk during training, but got his ass saved because, apparently the serge detested anything Elvis related. Lissa was mad that one, her baby sister got married before her. Two, she wasn't at her baby sister's wedding.

Mia and Eddie where the last once, It was during his first leave and the last one they still had together, as two of them never came home anymore.

Just out of high school and not all parents supporting the decisions we made, we got ourselves a house for the four of us. Well eight when Jill and Mia graduated. But with the size of the house it didn't matter. My dad, is one of his last moments of clearness singed over all his property to me. Which included this massive mansion. Lissa paid a minimum rent and we started online college courses. A year later, Jill and Mia joined us. I singed the two beach houses up to an agency who rents them out. I get two thirds of the rent, they handle everything and get the other third. I live an easy live. Even without a job. I didn't finish my college career after Dimitri died and I learned enough from my father when my mother was still alive to know how to handle the basics about the companies he was a part of. My father invested his money he got from his parent in small starting businesses. Some of them flopped, most of them still exist and a few off them became gigantic multinationals. I got the stocks when he died in a home three years ago, it was how I met Adrian. My father had invested in his fathers company and Adrian was VP in that company.

I went to bed early, I still had my quarters in this house. I grabbed the picture of me and Dimitri on our wedding day, held it tight and closed my eyes.

 **Because you all wanted me to continue.**

 **Lots of Love**

 **Born to love protect and Die**


	3. I hate AN's

This story isn't meant to hurt anybody. It's a story that is swimmig around in my mind. I don't know anything about american military execpt what I see in Tv-shows or movies. I'm from Belgium, Europe. I do want to apologize to anyone for who this story kicks a little to close to home. My condolence. This story is compleetly fictional, and most likly does not follow official USA-military prosedures.

See you next chapter,

Born to Love, Protect and Die


	4. 3, figure

**Chapter 3**

The next morning I woke up late, despite my early turn in. Lissa and Mia were home, due to being pregnant, Jill already left for work. She worked in the veterinary only a mile away.

"So Rose; what are you doing today?"

"Same thing I always do when I get back here. Visit Olena."

Half an hour later I knocked on the door of my mother in law.

"Roza!" She beamed, holding a towel in her hands. That woman, always cooking or cleaning something. "Oh honey you're home! How are you dear?"

"I fine, Healthy, partly happy and very indecisive at the moment."

"Oh dear, come inside, let my make us some thee and then tell what is you feel confused about?" I walked behind her inside the house. She showed me at the couch and went to the kitchen to get us some thee. I was sitting facing the mantel. it still had this big majestic feeling about it and still had way more pictures then it was suppose to carry. Right in front of me, was a picture of a girl is a asymmetric, tulle dress, hot pink shoes and pink and a whole bunch of brightly colored zantedeschia's in her hands. Holding her from behind was a guy, nicely dressed in a fitted tux, with a bright purple zantedeschia in his pochet. It was one of my wedding pictures. I remembered the day like it was yesterday. I can perfectly remember every single detail about it. It was perfect. I sunken in my daydreaming that I didn't notice Olene entering. I was moved towards the mantel and was holding the picture.

"Hey, I ...Oh...It was a beautiful day, wasn't it?" She smile fondly as she placed the tray down. I put the picture back and went to sit next to her.

"It was, I doubt it would ever be as perfect again."

"Roza?" Olena asked, hearing the agian.

"Adrain. He asked me to marry him. " I spoke my reason of conflict.

"Oh. Do you want to marry him?" Olena asked.

"I don't know. I like him, I really do, but I would never be able to forgive myself if... You know."

"Rose...he's not coming back, no matter how much I want him to walk through that door, He's not coming back...I tough you made peace with that." She wispered that last part.

"I have. I made peace with that. But...I've seen that piece of paper, I still have it. Singing it, it feels like I am the one signing his dead sentence. I can't do that." I admitted what truly was the reason for my delay.

"Would you marry him if you never met Dimka."

"Yes,yes would."

"You've been involved with Adrian for what? Two years?" She asked I knotted. "Why didn't he wait two more years? Dimka would be MIA for ten years and everything would be official automatically. Why now. Is there a rush or something. If he knows you can't sign- He knows right?" Olena revealed the reason for this mess.

"No, I never told him about Dimitri, Not because I didn't want to, but ... It's not exactly a thing you tell when you meet and...then it never happened and then I don't know, I just laid it off...till that day he was sitting in front of me with that ring in his hand."

Olena placed her hand on my knee and looked me straight in the eye. "You need to talk to him, he is going to have question we all really want to meet this guy that has you head this screwed up."

I laughed at that. In all this time Adrian never came down here. They all knew who he was, but they never actually met him. "I'll bring him for the next end of harvest fest." I promised. End of harvest was something came to us true the years and we still celebrated it as a big family party. It was only two months away.

"Good, now set things straight as fast as possible and lose another important person in your live. Go back to Montana and set it straight, don't let him slip out of your hands."

"Thank you" I hugged her. "I think you inherited Yeva's skills after she passed." I whisper while holding her. This made her full out laugh a deep belly laugh.

"Oh Rose, she would probably ... well nobody knows what she would have said or done, If we did, it wouldn't be mama. Now go and I want to see you and Adrian on harvest fest.

After a quick goodbye and a promise to come back in two months I went back on the road.

I had a lot of explaining to do. To Adrian and his family. I could only hope they would forgive me and welcome me back and Adrian... I don't know. I hope we would be able to work it out.

Few days later I was back home, I unloaded my car and started a load of laundry. Then I grabbed my key to Adrians place and went over there, he wouldn't be home yet I knew that much. My plan was to make us dinner, as much as I was able to, i did stop by a delicatessen shop on my way there. I didn't want to mess up out talk with my messed up cooking skills.

A few hours later, out dinner was ready, whine was chilled and the table was set. I heard the door and poured a tumbler of whiskey. I noticed this habit of him when I got to meet him more personally. When he got home, he ended a day of trying to live up to expectations with two fingers of whiskey.

I met him when he was hanging his coat.

"I think we need to talk." I said handing him the tumbler.

"We do. Rose Belikova huh?" He said?

"Yes."

"I think I'm going to need this." He said emptying the tumbler before following me to the dining room.


	5. 4, life in Montana

**So, someone commented in the reviews that this story look like GIJoe. I hadn't seen GIJoe despite my interests in action movies. So guess who just watched GIJoe. Exactly. So hereby I can honestly tell you guys it will not look one bit like it, since I've already written the ending, which is next chapter btw. End Maybe an epilogue. I've also been thinking about a parody on this story. Just something swimming around in my brain.**

 **So since I'm not the biggest fan of AN's Enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 4**

We sat across each other...awkwardly. I didn't know where to start. Our meal was almost finished when Adrian asked the first question.

"What's your husband's name?"

"Dimitri Belikov."

"When did you two meet?"

"We where only children, you know small town everybody knew each other. We where friends. We both needed a date for the spring formal and we have been together ever since. "

"How come you never told me?"

"When my father died, It had been so long since he went MIA and I knew he wasn't coming back. So I removed my wedding ring and decided that I had to move forward with my life. I had been managing my father's investments for a while and decided that it was time to take over.

I reinvented myself, the new me, professional, independent and strong. I never told anybody anything personal at any of the firms I visited. And when I finely agreed to go out with you, I thought of it as a trial run. I never thought I would fall for the first guy who took me out. but I did, because apparently that's who I am. Later on, I was afraid. Afraid that you would think different of me. I had fallen for you, and I didn't want to lose you. Now I realize how selfish and wrong that was. I'm sorry Adrian.

He kept quiet for a while before asking the next. I told him the truth, on everything. And as we talked all night long...I felt a weight lift of my shoulders. My Comrade was never my dirty little secret. But now I realized that I turned him into one. That made me felt more ashamed of my actions than anything I ever did in my life. Hours later, the sun was almost back up and he was out of questions. I was out answers, there hadn't been a stone left untouched.

"Adrian,...I understand if you want to break things off." His head snapped up and he opened his mouth, but I broke him of. "No, Listen. You know that you are my second choice and you don't disserve that. You disserve to be someone's only love, not to be the second best. I know this is a harsh thing to say, but if by some miracle Dimitri is still alive. I will go back to him no questions asked. And I know that that is a horrible thing to do. Which I don't want for you. You disserve better."

During my monologue Adrian came to me and kneeled in front of me

"I don't care Rose. I know that i am not an easy person to live with and still you make everything perfect. I don't want anybody else."

"Bu-"

"No. No But's. I love you Rosemarie Hathaway Mazur Belikova or whatever last name you may have. I don't care about your past. I don't care if that means we cannot get married just yet. I am willing to wait."

"Thank you. I'll go talk to you mother tomorrow. hit the spa or something with her."

"You do that. She's been asking question for the last week."

"I'm sorry, I Love you Adrian."

The next day I called Mrs ivashkov asking me if she wanted to meet me at her favorite spa center. Of course she agreed. Mrs Ivashkov was the cliché of a bored trophy wife. Anything to do to waist her time was good enough. She had an agenda filled with all kinds of woman society stuff, and when she wasn't doing that or ordering staff around, she was at a spa or hairsalon or any place that helped her look beautiful and fight time. Not that Mr Ivashkov cared or even took notice. He was to busy running his business, belittling or as he called it training Adrian or screwing one his mistresses. Something told me there marriage was arranged or a simple business agreement. It wasn't love. Or at least not anymore.

I wondered before if maybe Adrian would become like that. He could in time, but I would never become Mrs Ivashkov, not in the way his mother was Mrs Ivashkov.

I called ahead to spa center telling them to make the Welcome margaritas extra dirty. So when I walked in and saw Mrs Ivashkov sitting with an empty glass and a half empty pitcher, I knew I good to go. It wasn't that she didn't like me. I mean I was about the same age as her son, had my own money and was nice to look at. The three things she cared about. But still, the woman was just a natural bitch sometimes. I'm not saying she's not a good mother, she loves her son, I knew she was the best mother Adrian could gave, but years upon years of a loveless marriage and fake friends must do something to you morals

So after the apology from my side for being late and leaving the party a week ago. I explained why, without many details why I couldn't marry Adrian. She nodded and looked like she was thinking when she put her glass down, repositioned herself and splatter the pedicurist while doing so.

"So basically if I tell my friends that you are going to have a very long engagement because you want married in your hometown or on a special date but still in the weekend or something, I should be fine. I mean you two aren't breaking up, are you?"

"No we are not breaking up." I answered.

"Good, that's good." Really?

"Oh I wanted to invite you. In two months there is this annual feast in my hometown. I'd like you to come. I thought it was time you guys met my friends and the place I grew up in.

"I'd love noting more Rose. Thank you for inviting me." I knew her answer was sincere. In that moment mama Ivachkov came out instead of Mrs Ivashkov.

I was at home, checking on the renting company when Adrian walked in.

"Hey baby" He kissed me before going to kitchen in order to grab a glass of whiskey I kept here only for him. Whiskey wasn't really my taste.

"Your mother has some twisted morals. " I called after him.

"Yeah tell me about it." He answered, which made us both laugh.


	6. 5, I'm coming home again

**Chapter 5**

The next month went by quickly. It didn't take long before everything went back to normal.

Just like mrs. Ivachkov said. The people who knew about the proposal where told I wasn't expecting anything and was quit overwhelmed...or something. They were also told we were going to have a long engagement because I wanted to get married on the same days of my late parents. No matter how snobby they might be...they understood the sentiment that held.

I didn't want them to know my business. They weren't real friends anyway. They where wives and daughters of imported business partners. They had no deal into my personal live.

Between Adrian and I...things were also going back to normal. Sometimes he asked a question he forgot to ask that specified night.

One time he asked for a picture of him. The only picture I had with me at the time was the picture of our wedding. The one that was in my wallet. It probably wasn't the best picture I could show him, considering that it was what he wanted for us. So I took down the box of memories and showed him the groupphoto that was underneed my moms flag. seeing the others brouth up storries of crazy things we did. That evening I told him more then I ever did before.

All in all, he was perfect. Even though I still felt guilty, but at the same better, because he knew. he finely knew my biggest secret, one that never should have been a secret in the first place.

Today I was meeting again with mrs Ivashkov. We were going over logistics and financials for the next charity event. I also wanted to discuss the upcoming harvest fest. You know...when she was free and stuff.

I met them at eleven thirty for brunch at the country club. Together with three other woman. Both wives off other corporate hot-shots. Sometimes I felt like an alien here. Like I was the only one not obsessed with the latest Brangelina scandal or with the new hot masseur at the spa center. I also didn't care that Molly's daughter, her best friend her aunt was apparently screwing her lawn boy. The same lawn boy that who was rumored to be the secret child of mr Kingly's head of marketing, his tird affair.

Just imagine what my story would stir up here. God how did I end up in such a cliché life.

So after pleasantry's where made and the latest Gossip was spread out and action to the latest scandals where discussed. We finely got to business.

Next time my dentist appointment will have run late.

The catering had to be changed (again) because Charlotte was at a grand dinner party last week and one of the servers hit on her and it distastefull and she didn't want to have such a thing happening at their event. In other words: She screwed him, dropped him and now she could never see him again , because one might find out. If someone told her husband it was bye, bye credit cards.

The flower arrangement needed to be changed because one of the big donors was apparently highly allergic to zansedesia's. Translated; he once sneezed in public where those flowers where present. Highly allergic it is. The fact half the state had a cold that week because of the constant changing weather did not matter?

Three hours latter, everything was discussed and another half an hour we split ways.

I went with mrs Ivashkov to discuss harvest fest. "So, How is everything between you and my son?"

"Good actually. It's like this space between us is gone, like he always knew there was something I wasn't telling him. We're getting there."

"That's great to hear, just tell me in time when the actual wedding planning needs to start. Seeing how this meeting just then went on for so long. I would like a while before I actually tell them, because they need to think they knew first so at least two months before you send the 'save the dates' out should be fine and then-"

"Daniela" I interrupted her. "We could just elope you know. Cause a scandal for a week and then trow a big party without the extra fuzz to please everybody. I would gladly take the fall and it would spare us a lot of stress."

"Please do that Rose. You already had a wedding after all. Sorry, It's weird to think of you as a married woman sometimes. Your first wedding, how was it?"

"It's was perfect, at least for the eighteen year old me. I would do it compleetly different now. But it was truly perfect."

"That's good, that's good. Sometimes I think these woman drive me crazy on purpose."

"You know, maybe they are quite normal at home and are saying the same things about us right now." That made her look weird at me and we both burst out in laughter.

"I highly doubt that." She said still sniggering.

"So about the harvest fest. I arranged with Adrian that we can leave on Wednesday. Mr Ivashov hasn't decided if he could come, but he told me we could use the jet either way."

"Yes, that's should be okay. So since you where born there. Which hotel do you think I could stay in?"

"Well actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. I could book you a room in the nearest town but the house where I lived in is several miles away and well, It's the town celebration weekend, it's not going to be peaceful. So either you can stay in the guest house or in town, whichever you choose."

In the end she chose the guest house, I didn't know if it was because she didn't trust a small town hotel or if she actually wanted to get to know the real me. The old me.

Weeks later we landed on a small airstrip ten miles away from town. After we got out I saw Lissa and Mia standing there with big sign saying:

 _Rose_ _Bel, Ivash, Hath_

 _Our Landlord. =)_

Veronica was holding one that said:

 _Auth Rosie and her boyfriend_

"The idiots" I muttered as I dropped bags and ran to them. When I got there I grabbed the sign, threw it away before hugging them close, well as close as one could get with all those belly's in between us. I grabbed Mia before saying "So...you sure it's only one in there?"

"HAHA, yes it's only one. I had the gynecologist check it just in case. Uh, I can't wait until it pops out."She grunted.

In the mean time Adrian and Danielle had come up behind us. After I introduced everyone we got into the two cars and drove to our to the house.

Mia was driving the car we were in and was asking a million questions a minute to Adrian. How we met, what he did, what planes were with me. Taking on a role much?

Upon arriving I showed Adrian's Mother the guesthouse so she could settle in and told us to meet us at the main house when she was ready. When we got into the main house foyer, Adrian's Eyes immediately fell on the canvas picture that was stretched along the left wall.

It was a picture we had made a few weeks after Mia got married. We all put on our wedding dresses again and added garters with our husbands nametags on it. We all stood posing, one side of our skirt raised and leg out, like we were on some kind of pageant competition. It was suppose to be a welcome home present for when the guys came home. Two of them never saw it. There were many time when one of us wanted to take it down, I actually destroyed it once after the first few weeks of unseartency. I had it remade and put it back up later because despite everything that picture showed exactly who we, the girls, were.

We were happy, goofy, loyal, different and the same. And we would get through everything, together. Right now it made guilty that I hadn't been here to support them.

"You look happy up there and something I haven't seen before. Someting...almost childlike." Adrian disrupted my train of thought.

"Childlike?"I raised an eyebrow, or well tried to.

"Not in a bad way, just like... I don't know. mischief maybe?"

"Mischief is nice way of putting it. I could be quite the rebel when I was younger. But yes I was happy. I could stand here and say that I didn't knew pain back then and that it made me grow up, but that would bullshit. I knew pain before. By that time I lost both my parents. I think it was the 'not knowing' the constant worry and 'what ifs' that made me change." I mused.

Adrian's only reaction was a toughfull hmm.

We stood there staring at picture, I didn't even knew what he was thinking of all of it when Valentina came calling us for the aperetif. I took his hand and genlty sqeezed it. This comming week may be akward, but it wasn't only someting that needes to be done, it was also something that was long overdue. And hopefully we would get through this stronger than before.


	7. 6, In the end

**Chapter 7**

Half a year later we all came back for the spring festival. Adrians mom and Olena hit it off last time we where here, they were actually skyping frequently nowadays. So when I said I wanted to come to spring festival, she almost immediately started packing. It was funny to think that they where so different.

Today they where delivering the tents for the garden party and everybody was in full swing to clean said garden up. Our manor had always been one of the center places for the festival. We spend most a the day setting everything up for the next it was last afternoon when heavy black clouds started to block the sun and broke. We barley had time to run under the tent before the heavy rain started. The BBQ which we started up to start cooking dinner for that evening quickly became a black pool with charcoal swimming in it. 15minutes later it was over. The rain stopped and the sky became clear. A few of the guys emptied the bbq of water and restarted the process, while the rest of us dried of the chairs and tables we would need.

Strangely enough the temporary monsoon brought the garden back to life.

I was looking over the garden. It was beautiful. Now that the rain had stopped, the flowers where blooming in the bright sun again. It looked like paradise. From the corner of my eye, I saw something. Someone was driving down the pad. When the car got onto the hardened pad of the estate, I recognized it. I'd seen it before. It was black, sober, whit a tiny emblem on the side.

I stiffened and involuntarily grabbed the hand of the person next to me. Lissa. She saw what I was looking at and whispered involuntarily, "Oh god, please no."

By the time the car stopped and two people got out of the car; me, Lissa, Mia and Jill where all standing next to each other. Adrian came up to me.

"Get the children away" was I all said. He saw the uniforms and grabbed the hands of Lissa's oldest and his mother and Jill's latest boyfriend each took one of the baby's. When the two neavy personnel where in hearing distance I spoke first.

"Who?" I've been through this twice now.

"Rosemarie Hathaway Mazur Belikova and Jillian Dragomir Ashford? "

"Yes" We spoke in unison. There was no doubt why they were here.

"We believe we found the remains of Privet Mason Ashford and Privet first Class Dimitri Belikov." She spoke officially, no emotion, professionally. Except for the eyes. Though I detected a sign of sorry. Nobody liked doing this, and no matter how many times they had done this, It never got easier. The guy next to her gave Jill and me each a picture. At first was afraid to look, afraid of what I would see. When I recognized the shapes I looked closer. It where his, no doubt about it. His name clearly engraved in the dog tags. A strange relieve felt over me, at the same time I wanted to cry and scream bloody murder. A single tier slipped through, but I held the rest. Not now, not here.

"Where,...How." I asked.

They looked at each other before answering. "There was group, a cult you could say. They lived in caves. They detest anything resembling a government, they believed it was tainted. We found over two hundred edifications of military personnel from eighteen different countries, no alliance whatsoever. All gone missing without a trace in the last twenty years. We'll bring them home, so they can rest with their families but...it could take a while. The people they got, didn't exactly got proper burial. We are sorry for your losses Mrs Belikova, Mrs Ashford." She explained. I had a mental picture in front of my eyes, of a giant pit filled with bones. I wanted to kill someone, to destroy something but luckily the next words calmed me down enough.

"We ordered Corporal Ozera and Staff sergeant Castile home. They are under way from the uss Margerata as we speak." He looked at his watch. "They should be here any minute. We will get in touch with you both the moment we know more. Again, We're sorry for your loss and thank you for your service." They turned and left. I stood frozen, I didn't know what to think. What to feel. I felt broken and relieved at the same it. I always held some hope and that was now ripped away. But the conformation that there was no hope left was inflicting emotions in me that couldn't live together. I looked to where I last saw Olena standing. She looked back at me, hope filling her eyes. I lowered me eyes and shook my head no. When I looked up, I saw a single tier trickle dawn her eye. The car was barely on the dusty pad when I saw the chopper. It couldn't land here, not with this garden party going on. Two ropes fell down and off slid two silhouettes I've known all my life. Still in uniform and no doubt pulled straight from the ship.

It would look like something from some action movie if it weren't for the circumstances. They ran up to us and before I knew it, we where engulfed in arms. All six of us. Tiers fell out of my eyes, not caring if anyone saw them. I heard children shouting and soon two kids and two babies joined us. I let myself get engulf by Adrian's arms and then I found Olena's. Adrian hadn't said anything. None of us did, except for the children who obviously where just happy to see their father again. I knew in that moment where no one said anything, that I would be okay. Maybe not tomorrow or next week. But I would be...Eventually.

Months later, after the funeral, where I received another American flag and another set of dog tags that I could put next to my mothers. I knew that I would find myself again and I would be able to so say yes to question asked to me well over a year ago.

The end.

 **I know that last part might seem a bit over the top, but I really wanted to add that bit of action/drama.**


End file.
